The more I feel successful on the inside the less I feel the need to be noticed for what’s on the outside.
With my third week on the Goldcoast about to begin I can’t believe that it’s going so fast. It feels like only a few days ago I was running around at home trying to organize my life. The first week up here was crazy and although things have settled down I am still literally living out of my suitcase.
My usual organized-self failed this time around to anticipate just what was going to be involved with moving up here. I forgot how hot it was going to be. I’ve even abandoned my jockstraps in favor of going commando and I didn’t even pack a Speedo! I will admit only having about 48 hours notice to move didn’t really help. Luckily work is flexible and I’ll be home in Melbourne for the weekend next week. I need to pack some hot weather clothes, grab a camera I forgot and collect some parcels that arrived a few days ago.
I’m hardly complaining though, I asked the Universe a long time ago for exactly this, my dream has always been to travel and take pictures and right now I am doing exactly that. It began with baby steps to places like Airlie beach and sailing in the Whitsundays, eventually to the UK, onto the Goldcoast now and back to Europe later this year. I can hardly call it work when everyday brings something new and exciting doing what I love. Would you believe a year ago I was ready to give up!
With all these affirmations happening in my life I have begun to notice that the happier I am, and the more accomplished I feel, the less I feel the need to be noticed for other things, most noticeably my appearance.
To put it simply I now know that I have more to offer than just the way that I look. The irony is that attaching my sense of self worth to the way I look is something that I nurtured for a very long time when I wasn’t feeling particularly like I had much else to offer, you feel me?
Feel bad, post butt pic, get instant approval… feel better.
Okay I still post butt pics and I still enjoy teasing the members but the difference is that now I am beginning to feel less and less need to do it when I am feeling down and I’m feeling less and less down as I feel better about how my life is going.
Is any of this making sense?
The more successful I feel on the inside, the less I feel the need to rely on feeling good about the way I look on the outside. Being fit and healthy is still important to me but attaching my looks to my sense of self worth is slowly becoming less and less important to me.
What this means for the blog and my exhibitionist streak is yet to be seen but you can be assured that I still have to restrain myself more often than not so my Instagram is safe… for now. 😉