Hi there ShanFans, I’ve created a complete playlist of all my kink diaries and cage reviews. Since many of you have been exploring your kinks I thought it would be helpful to have all these videos in one easy to reach place. Enjoy x
As LOCKTOBER approaches I though it would be good to make this weeks Locked Boy Diary post a Q&A video. This is your chance to get your team locked questions in.
Feel free to ask anything you like.
Another great fan question, thanks for sending this one in. Wearing the cage is a constant reminder of Sirs ownership and power over me as a kink boy. It’s a big part of my kink lifestyle and now that being caged has become permanent I’ve begun to worry less and less about whether or not other people know. Most of my friends know that I live a kink lifestyle but unless they follow my feeds I doubt they are fully aware of what that means or if I’m wearing a cage or not. Mostly I take the attitude that the people who know “get it” and the people who don’t know won’t notice it anyway. It does feel good to be bouncing and bulging around because that appeals to the exhibitionist in me, so it does feel a little bit naughty and because being caged often means that I’m horny all the time makes being in public with it on very arousing.
The stainless steel cage definitely has more weight to it so I’m much more conscious of it than the plastic which can sometimes feel like I’m not wearing it at all. When the weather gets warmer I’ll go commando in basketball, running shorts or grey sweatpants and that will feel really naughty.
If you’re lucky enough to be where lock down restrictions have been eased enough for you to start hitting the gym again you may be wondering how to keep comfortable in your cage during your workouts.
Chaffing is a super big problem at the gym for me. Leg days are especially tricky and on more than one occasion the pain from chaffing and pinching has become so bad that I have had to stop my workout. It’s also not good for your form if your having to make adjustments for you cage.
There are no guarantees that these tips will work for you but now that I’ve been locked for over three months I’ve been able to play around with a few solutions.
The most important thing is to stay warm. Cold sweats and tight balls are the worst possible thing when you’re caged. I recently discovered that using a pouch or a wrap around your cage and balls makes a huge difference to being comfortable. Wear it with your underwear. Obviously this is less of a problem in summer but even in summer in an air-conditioned gym you can get quite cold.
Secondly make sure the cage is properly fitted. The cock ring part of the cage shouldn’t be so tight that it pulls on the skin. Don’t be afraid to make an adjustment in the locker room.
Leg days are the worst. Loose fitting shorts and comfortable briefs will make your life much better. Tight undies squash and rub which will eventually cause pain. Tight undies and shorts will also make it harder to maintain form because the cage won’t be able to move freely without pinching and rubbing.
Lastly, take your key with you. Even if you have a key holder your safety should always come first. If the pain is too great or the cage is causing you an injury then remove it. The urge to stay caged may be strong but its better to remove it for an hour than cause an injury. If your key holder does not agree to this then get a new key holder, the subs safety must always come first. My Sir allows me to remove my cage for leg days subject to chastity checks prior to and after workouts.
A lot of guys have been asking me about comfort, chaffing and pinching. It’s important to remember that some discomfort is part of the point of wearing a cage. It’s not really chastity until you want to take it off. Its not meant to feel like a dream all of the time but there is a difference between discomfort and genuine pain and injury. Listen to what your body is telling you. Your headspace its also important. I often find the cage feels worst on days when I’m in a foul mood. Keeping in tune with your body and mind is very much a key element to remaining healthy in chastity.
Do any of you have your own tips? Leave a comment below and tell us.
Slut shaming is a problem across all aspects of our sexual lives but in kink relationships and partnerships my experience of slut shaming has given me a few insights in to how it can damage your kink play and prevent you from realising your ideal kink life.
I’ve been SIRs boy now for almost six months and SIR keeps taking me to higher and higher levels of training and enjoyment. I haven’t experienced anything like it in any of my previous kink adventures. The major difference is that SIR has been careful to foster a partnership where I can express myself and my fantasies without feeling slut shamed or embarrassed. It’s a hugely important thing. It allows me to be spontaneous and take some initiative when trying to please SIR knowing that if I don’t quite get it right that I’m not going to be made to feel unworthy or shamed for it.
In previous encounters with Doms I have always held back and on occasions hidden what I wanted and needed to avoid being made to feel like I was a cheater or a slut or unworthy. This caused me to become resentful of many Doms control and the lack of satisfaction that I was getting.
An atmosphere of open non judgemental communication means that both of us can discuss freely what we want and what we enjoy. It is not weak for Doms to please their subs. Most Doms I have met just took what they wanted and gave nothing back because they thought that the subs only pleasure should be to serve. It just doesn’t work like that. Willing submission is a key component of a good kink partnership. SIR takes such good care of me that there are days when I find myself longing to throw myself at his feet and worship him, our play sessions are the most satisfying I have ever had. My enjoyment means that I have a stake in our play and that makes me serve better.
If you are a Dom reading this then please treat all your subs needs as valid and important even if they do not align with your own. Forcing a sub to comply only with things that you are interested in will just push your sub to look elsewhere. Keep communication open, you don’t have to do everything the sub wants, you are in charge. You should allow this discussion to help inform your choices for play and punishments, there are ways to allow your sub to explore – where you can still maintain your power if you are willing to engage in a respectful manner.
Some subs like myself enjoy playing with more than one partner. Do not slut shame risky or promiscuous behaviour as this has the tendency to push this behaviour in to the shadows. It’s important to speak about having other partners openly. SIR allows me play with others so long as I follow the protocols he has set in place. I must remain caged and collared at all times and I must report back to SIR afterwards. These protocols actually add to my enjoyment and focus my submission to SIR as my owner. Different arrangements work for different partnerships, in the past I’ve had to be monogamous and that simply isn’t something I enjoy.
Importantly looking after your sexual health is non negotiable. Adult play grounds bring adult consequences. Slut shaming can cause us to not get tested, not share and/or not be honest about our results. Slut shaming can cause us not to report damage from a play session or even an assault. These can have very real and very traumatic results and so please make sure you talk about it openly and respectfully with your Dom/sub. Doms are as responsible for a subs safety just as much as as a sub is responsible for a Doms.
Have fun and enjoy exploring. Do you have anything to add? Any safety tips? Leave a comment below and tell us.
Apart from chastity the thing that I get asked about the most is Sirs collar. In the Kink community and personally my collar is not about playing dress up. In the wider Gay community harnesses, collars and other Kink accoutrements are often worn as costume and although I’m pleased to see that kink is becoming more mainstream each item I wear is important to me.
My collar was custom made for me by Sir. That in itself means a lot to me because it symbolises Sirs personal commitment to me as Sirs boy. Sirs collar with its padlock represents his ownership of this boy and my submission to his authority over my body and certain agreed aspects of my life. This ownership requires that I will serve him and be available for his pleasure when required. It means that this boys body now belongs to Sir and that this boys pleasure is Sirs to give and take away as he pleases. Violations of this will bring punishment.
Sirs collar does not only show this boys commitment but also shows Sirs commitment to take on the responsibility for my training and take me under his protection. This means that I am not available for use by other Doms without his permission.
A collar is not something that a Master gives lightly, it took three months of commitment and training before Sir decided I was worthy of wearing his collar. It is not something that should be accepted lightly either. It is a symbol of commitment, Sir and I have a contract which clearly outlines the terms of our partnership. Both of us have responsibilities to each other built on mutual enjoyment and respectful conduct.
There are a variety of collars which mean different things and now that wearing a collar has become more mainstream within the Kink and wider Gay communities it’s important to know that they are not always about “dressing up”. Everybody’s kink is personal and unique if you meet somebody wearing a collar and are not sure what it means then just ask and as always be respectful.