Stop asking me what nationality I am.

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It’s very common for those of us who aren’t White to get the question on Grindr, Manhunt or any of the other hook up slut sites, what natio are you?

If you have detected a hint of grump in that opening sentence then you would be correct ( I happen to be a hook up slut site user LOL). Some of you might think whats the harm, we all know what they mean. They want to know if you are Asian, Black, Hispanic or whatever. But it’s about more than just grammar.

The reason it grinds my gears is because it’s indicative of a wider ignorance. Asking what natio I am isn’t just bad grammar, it’s a thinly disguised check of my heritage that smacks of “no Asians”. Maybe I’m a little bit more sensitive to it because of my own experiences in the Gay community but I’m not here to debate sexual racism.

The number of times I have answered, AUSSIE and gotten the reply, “no you’re not, you look Asian” as though their indignation was somehow justified, from somebody who is clearly of mixed heritage themselves is laughable. As if looking asian makes me unworthy of the exclusive club of drunken bogans that generally ask the question.

The point that I want to make is that I am Australian, I was born here. I am an Aussie boy who just happens to have a Malaysian father and an Aussie mother. The fact that I don’t look white doesn’t have anything to do with my “natio” and everything to do with my heritage.

I have always been a little bit jealous of my American friends who get to identify as African American, Irish American and Japanese American because being an American is seen to be about values not heritage. Certainly it’s the romantic view but I think my point is clear. If my Dad were to describe himself as a Malaysian Australian people would look at him sideways and say, well which are you?

So asking me in my home country the question, what natio are you? is a passive aggressive way of saying, you don’t look Australian which angers me because to be Australian is to be from somewhere else. We all came from somewhere else, unless you’re an Indigenous Australian, the only true custodians of this land.

So stop asking me what nationality I am, I’m Australian and more than that I’m a citizen of planet Earth. Say what you really mean, what background, ethnicity or heritage are you?

Rant over.

 

 

 

10 thoughts on “Stop asking me what nationality I am.

  • March 7, 2014 at 12:15 am
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    Shannon, I just see you as fellow Human being!

    Reply
  • March 7, 2014 at 2:59 am
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    That really is an insulting question. Your rant is justified.

    Reply
  • March 7, 2014 at 5:57 am
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    It happens in America too. Especially on gay sites. But again sexual racism is another topic that can be ranted about. We love you Shannon because of that big brain of yours and pours out of it.

    Reply
  • March 8, 2014 at 4:04 pm
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    Sorry. I’m one of those. I asked a cute guy at the gym whom I’ve noticed for the past year and finally got to talk to over lunch what his ethnic heritage was, thinking it was part Filipino, ended up being part half Vietnamese. We ended up with a great convo. (I commonly ask people their ethnic background, but I don’t confuse it with their nationality, which is much different). While I might find it interesting that you have a Malaysian father, I’d really want to know if you’re of Malay, Chinese, Indian, Thai Ethnic background. (Ok, I know you’re probably not half Malay because you’re not circumcised!). Maybe because I lived in Malaysia for over 3 years I am fascinated by Asian culture, love the different variety of Asian guys, it’s like a second home to me (Making my third trip back to Malaysia in the past year to see my Malay, Chinese, Pinoy, etc friends there.). And I’ll be in Melbourne in July, so if I should ask you, please don’t smack me upside the head, I’m really a nice American, lol

    Reply
  • March 9, 2014 at 4:03 am
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    Ya, people always ask if I’m Indian… I am Canadian!

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  • March 9, 2014 at 6:31 am
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    i personally love asian , latino, aussie, hell i love them all πŸ˜‰

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  • March 11, 2014 at 9:57 am
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    I think that practicing safe-sex requires some uncomfortable questions. When I detect a possible G.A.M. I can’t help but just not be attracted, it’s just not my type. Also at work there are Filipinos that stand on the rim and squat and the crap goes everywhere and it’s very off-putting!

    Reply
    • March 11, 2014 at 11:53 am
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      After blogging for nearly 6 years I can safely say that this is the most offensive comment anybody has ever made on this blog, and that includes the abusive comments I was subjected too about three years ago. Wow, just WOW.

      Reply
  • March 19, 2014 at 10:27 pm
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    Babe you are entitled to that rant. We are of one nation.

    Reply
  • April 30, 2015 at 11:48 pm
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    I’ve stumbled onto your blog again after quite a few years of not reading it.

    Would really love a response.

    I honestly don’t understand people getting offended. From a psychological standpoint I do, but from a personal point, I honestly don’t. At least not since finishing school.

    I was insulted, bullied, tormented every day of every year when I was in school. Growing up in a REALLY racist, sexist town in South Africa means that if you don’t weigh 200 pounds and play rugby then you’re basically a “fairy” and deserve whatever comes your way. For 14 years that made me absolutely miserable.

    After finishing high school I just stopped caring. You can do whatever you please and say whatever you want; I just can’t give a f*** about what other people think.

    People have absolutely no power over me anymore.

    PS: by leaving a comment of a completely different view from yours I’m in no way (at least deliberately) dismissing your feelings/emotions regarding the subject.

    Reply

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