Well here we are at the beginning of week four of six of the second lockdown here in Melbourne. All our figures are dropping and thats great but one thing that hasn’t dropped is the number of hookup requests I’ve been getting. I haven’t been on Grindr in aaaaages but I still get messages from guys online through my socials asking when we will be able to hookup.
Hookup culture sucks at the best of times but in the middle of a pandemic it’s even more dangerous. I guess one of the hardest things for me about this whole situation has been realising that there are some people out there who we will just never be able to reach with the message to do the right thing. There are just too many of us ( the gay community ) out there putting our need to get our dicks wet before keeping each other safe.
The first weekend of this second lockdown I got a message, “three tops here”. Fuck I wanted to go over so badly. Three keen Tops in the one place is like catching lightning in a bottle and the chances of me getting COVID from any of them was pretty small, but I still said no and here’s why.
I don’t want to be part of the legacy of selfishness that is adding to the hurt of so many people out there. People are losing their jobs, homes and lives because of people who thought it couldn’t happen to them. Who lawyered the risks in their head so they could justify doing whatever they wanted and who have contributed to the current situation we are in. I can’t make people do the right thing, but I can choose to do it myself. I can’t stop what’s happening, but I can control my own behaviour.
It’s fucking hard staying indoors, giving up sex, missing out on enjoying the sunshine with my friends, I get it. It’s depressing not having those supports around me and not seeing my family in almost 4 months, but whats the alternative? I look at my feeds everyday and see people partying and ignoring social distancing advice and it gives me FOMO but even more it makes me angry that friends would put each other at risk.
I’d also love to be out hooking up and making content for you. There are only so many solos you can do. But it’s important to me to do the right thing. So thank you everybody for following and for your support during this time. This too will pass and we will all be on the beers together again soon.