What I’m about to say isn’t going to win me new friends and is probably going to upset a few people, but if your afraid of having your thinking challenged then your going to be scared all your life.
I was trolling Grindr late last night and I came across another Gay boy saying “No Asians, I’m not racist it’s just a preference” and it made me think about what a preference is and what sexual racism is.
I’m tired of people hiding behind the word preference whenever they are challenged on things that would be normally unacceptable. A preference is saying you like guys with blonde hair or tall guys, or you prefer guys with big cocks and you prefer coffee to tea. A preference implies that you are openminded and that there is choice.
When you say “No Asians” you’re not saying I prefer Caucasian guys, you’re saying no Asian man any where at any time regardless of what they have to offer, how they look or what they are looking for raises the slightest interest in you. You’re saying don’t even bother to message me because I’m not even the slightest bit interested in speaking to you, I’m not even going to be your friend.
You’re completely dismissing an entire group of people you have never met based on what? other than the region of the world they are from?
That’s being racist, you’re a douchebag.
If your profile says your looking for friends, then you’re doubly a douchebag.
It’s at this point that you might say, oh but, but I like fair skin, or I like guys with high cheek bones. I’m allowed to be attracted to whoever I want.
Thats perfectly acceptable, and I completely agree.
We are all entitled to our preferences, you don’t have to be attracted to everybody. I happen to prefer European guys who are taller than me and have dark hair, but I’m also openminded because I know everybody has something to offer.
What you are not allowed to do is use your preference as a thin excuse to completely dismiss or discount a person from basic human courtesy simply because of their heritage, without ever having met or spoken to them. It’s also not an excuse to expect people to be invisible, “I’m not racist, just don’t talk to me”.
It’s a matter of attitude.
Stating what you like is expressing a preference. It comes from a positive place and to be honest is far more attractive than a shopping list of the things you don’t like.
I prefer blondes, I prefer gym fit, I prefer younger guys etc.
Saying “no Asians or Blacks” or whoever is racism. It’s close minded and small like saying, no fats, no fems, no old guys.
Express your preferences in a positive way and respect everybody, don’t be a douchebag!