There are lots of things in our lives that are pleasurable, which make us feel good, make us smile, make us cum, make us laugh. But do they make us happy?
The difference between pleasure and happiness is something I have been thinking about a lot since I moved here to the UK.
Before I came here I was doing lots of things that were pleasurable but which clearly made me unhappy. The problem with pleasure is that if we are unhappy, pleasure can become the drug we use to make ourselves feel better. In moments of my depression I reached out for pleasurable things, but after the high was gone, after I had shot my load, after I had eaten my cake the unhappiness was still there. That’s the problem with equating happiness with pleasure, when the pleasure is gone so is the happiness. When we lose the fancy phone we are unhappy, when the sex is over we are unhappy, when the cake is finished we are unhappy.
The things that were bringing me pleasure were actually driving my unhappiness. Sleeping around was fun, it got me off, it brought me pleasure and instant gratification, but in the end left me feeling unsatisfied, disconnected from real intimacy and ultimately unhappy. Your pleasure might not be sex, it might be food, or drugs, or alchohol or any of the other millions of things we use to pick our moods up when we feel a bit low.
A good way to tell the difference between pleasure and happiness is that something that brings us happiness will continue to do so, something that brings us only pleasure ultimately becomes stale and simply having more doesn’t make us any more happy.
Obviously not all pleasures will make us unhappy but the difference is when we use pleasure to find happiness rather than focussing on happiness and getting pleasure as the bonus.
And now as a reward for getting to the end of this article here is a pleasurable picture of my butt after an exhausting but very happy week at work.