GAY 101. Slut shaming in the Gay community

tumblr_m9u992xyCF1rdu03wo1_500

Lately it seems like slut shaming in the Gay community has become a sport.

Some of us have been making real waves giving the more promiscuous of us a hard time. For gay men sex is a fundamental part of our identity and who we are. For many of us sex is as much about having fun and enjoying our bodies as it is about intimacy. When I was struggling with my sexual identity the act of having sex was as important to me as who I was having it with, because without exploration how can we really know who we are?

The Gay community is a real contradiction when it comes to just how good of a time you are allowed to have in the theme park. Gay culture is obese with images of sex, hot guys, porn, toys, sex parties, dirty websites, sexy underwear, phallic baked goods and everything else under the sun, then we shame those who indulge in it. If we are to demand the dignity that our sexuality deserves then we must free from judgement those of us who choose to enjoy and explore that sexuality.

$(KGrHqIOKo8E3s37wJGUBODNu7!Kp!~~0_35Like it or not sex is the first way many Gay men connect, sex is how many men achieve intimacy and sex is completely natural. For a very long time we were not able to marry, many of us still can’t. Having sex with whoever we want in itself can be an act of defiance and activism when there are those in the world who still seek to rip that right away from us. Slut shaming is oppressing the sexuality of another person based solely on your own opinion of what is acceptable behaviour, sound familiar?

Gay sex is fucken awesome and for some of us having it is as natural as not having it. For a community that has struggled so long for acceptance of our sexuality why would we allow our own to take the place of the oppressor.

Gay men as a community are promiscuous. Why should we feel bad about that? Why if we do it safely and respectfully should it be a problem and why is it anyones business? Yes we all need to be aware of the consequences of a promiscuous lifestyle. HIV and other STI’s are always a risk and should never be understated or trivialised, but making people aware of the risks in a culture of acceptance and support is more desirable than forcing them to hide their sexual choices out of fear, embarrassment or feelings of shame.

A culture of slut shaming might make a friend reluctant to go to a Doctor who’ll ask them about previous partners, might make them hesitate to report a rape for fear of judgement or might lead them to depression.

Next time you are about to shame someone for being a slut remember who you are and that you also enjoy the right to choose who you have sex with, and shut up.

3 thoughts on “GAY 101. Slut shaming in the Gay community

  • November 11, 2015 at 6:10 am
    Permalink

    I didnt know slut shaming was such a big thing. Do you think its more a UK thing, or does it happen in Oz too? Good post though.

    Reply
    • November 11, 2015 at 4:48 pm
      Permalink

      It is an issue all over the world I think. Where ever you go Gay guys call each other sluts. It’s all a bit of a laugh but it can have some serious consequences. We are the worst when it comes to judging members of our own community.

      Reply
  • November 13, 2015 at 1:22 am
    Permalink

    Shannon, Bravo well said. I for one was not aware of this “Slut Shaming” as I am not yet in the scene so to speak. But I have been called a slut but by other gay guys that I know and it has always been taken as light hearted banter. I however have different perception and name calling is not one of my traits. You are so right though about the consequences such as not going to a Doctor for a regular check up, the start depression etc. Next time I hear someone say that I will stand up for the person that’s for sure. Thanks babe for another insight thank you Peace and happiness and love XXX

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.